Thursday, July 30, 2009

The Stupid Things That Thieves Do -- Other Than Steal

We've all seen the video programs that show thieves doing stupid things and being caught on surveillance cameras. Things like smacking an unbreakable window with a crowbar and then getting whacked in the face, or accidentally setting themselves on fire while trying to burn down a building. Seeing stuff like that always make me feel better. I tend to feel that justice is being served, somewhat. The criminals themselves are doing what we so often want to do, but don't have the opportunity to: beat the tar out of themselves!

Unfortunately, not every stupid thing criminals do are caught on tape, and I'm sure that must include thousands of funny things every day. For example, we know that you can't talk your way out of prison. But who knew you could actually talk your way into prison?

An article I came across today at Philly.com stated that in Chester, Delaware, a woman called police to claim that a large, high-dollar barbecue grill and other items were stolen from her backyard. As part of the investigation, the police determined that the items in question were purchased with a credit card reportedly stolen from a woman in Kentucky. This led to her quick arrest and further investigation, whereupon her two accomplices were also arrested. The leader of this band of thieves had his home raided and he was found hiding, naked, in his attic. Now I hope they got that on film!

It seems pretty funny, and ironic of course, that a thief felt she had been wronged and wanted to report it, when she herself had obtained the items that were stolen by using a stolen credit card. As the District Attorney in the article mentions, "If you steal something, don't report that somebody else stole it from you." Well put Mr. Green. Just another example of how stupid some criminals really are.

Now that the shoe is on the other foot, well except for the guy they found naked, I hope that these bozos learn their lessons. However, as is often the case, these sort of people tend to suffer from short-term memory loss. I tend to believe that they'll be back at it again as soon as they're released from prison. Luckily, the newer identity theft laws now carry a minimum two year sentence, with the possibility of five years. Don't worry though. I'm sure we'll have the chance to laugh at another stupid criminal before too long.

Have an example of a stupid criminal? Comment and let me know.

6 comments:

Don Beason said...

Here in the Twin Cities, we seem to have them in abundance. This story illustrates my point.

Dang, why did it have to be a cop car?!

Sam I Am said...

Here is an oldie but goodie. I love this one but it is so over the top stupid.

A couple of years ago, a guy walks into the WalMart and wants to buy a nice big 42-inch plasma TV. Only problem is that the price tag ($989) is too steep for his modest budget. No problem, he just changes the price to $4.88 (now that's rollback pricing!) The WalMart security folks spot what's going on and he gets arrested.

WalMart's clientele is typically from the shallow end of the financial swimming pool and this kind antic has likely to have been seen before by their security team many, many times.

I love the brazen stupidity of the attempt. Like, WalMart could never imagine such a thing happening and take steps to prevent.

Earl said...

Get your daily dose of stupid criminal tricks over at DumbCriminals.com

David Chu said...

I heard this story on the drive into work this morning. The radio said that she didn't get her fork. The AZCentral article says it was a missing condiment.

Either way, Ms. Monique was completely out of control. Screaming obscenities and trying (twice) to run someone down with your car.

It must truly be a little slice living w/ Monique.

Jason Biggs said...

Didn't think that one all the way through, did ya?

That's a $600 ticket to prison and a lifetime as a convicted felon.

Earl said...

I loved this one when I saw it. A robber uses spray paint on his face to conceal his identity. Ends up killing himself as a result. A Darwin Award for criminals for sure.